I wonder...

I wonder, how devoted am I to You Adonai?

I wonder, how close am I to You?

I wonder, how faithful am I to You?

I wonder...if my good world crashed and broke...will I still be by Your side and claim You to be Who You said You are?

I wonder, would I have a heart like Job...?

Oh, God, don't test me, I ask...for I have failed You in my leisure life, how much more will I fail You in my broken painful not-my-way life?

But then again, this is where I must shift my eyes off of myself and look to You, the Good Faithful Merciful Loving Holy -One True-Living GOD!

Let my eyes be upon You...then I don't have to no longer...WONDER.